Hi, I’m Steve, I'm an Xbox 360, and I’m an alcoholic
I’ve been an alcoholic for about ten months now
For ten months I’ve been in his skinny, dirty, fingerprint leaving clutches
At first I was alone
Then, moved to a crowded apartment complex,
pushed aside by a silver guy, CRT is his name
stuck between two ceaselessly noisy neighbors
on the left a tall, skinny, black guy named Phillip, who is obsessed with extremely noisy music;
on the right a tall, fat, silver guy, named Sylvan, who is obsessed with The Simpsons
below me there is a hot black lady, named Phillip, but we’re not compatible (She uses composite but I use component)
And then there’s me in the center finding myself hating them more and more as time goes by
It’s not that I don’t like music or The Simpsons
I was just destined for greater things
I play games and movies, and even stream music from your computer
I have piñatas for kids
And I have 7 foot tall augmented humans in green armor and seizure inducing light shows for adults.
Eventually I became friends with all of my neighbors
We helped each other realize our potential
They were the ones that convinced me to get into this program
I hope that you can help me quit drinking silicon lube; it isn’t good for my processor
